I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize