Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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