she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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