I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize