sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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