One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
