I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
wow bdsm is so cute
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
