i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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