You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
