She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
