i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
