did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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