Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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