He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
