she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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