I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
