on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
