My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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