I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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