Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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