There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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