i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
