Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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