is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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