Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
