I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
