Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize