so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
only you would photoshop your dick
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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