i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
