Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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