Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
