I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
