Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
