So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
did i just pee glitter
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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