And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
