This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
