I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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