I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
