alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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