We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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