i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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