Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
