bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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