walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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