i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
