so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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