Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
