Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
