Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
