Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
