gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
