Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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