there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
