you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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