Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
