I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
false alarm, still single
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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